What is Religious Wounding, and why is it important at this moment in time?

Right now, we are being given two very different interpretations of the world we live in, courtesy of the two dominant American political parties.  Each believes we are facing doom, but with very different meanings of what that constitutes. 

We witness peaceful, diverse demonstrators for police accountability being assaulted by law enforcement while those same police departments, with ties to white supremacy, are seemingly turning a blind eye to counter-protestors who are carrying guns and have now killed two protestors.

Over 180K people have died from COVID while almost 6 million cases have brought fear for family members, loss of employment and health-insurance, and poor prospects for long-term recovery, with a ripple effect into the entire country.  Hit the hardest, have been Black, Indigenous and communities of color, highlighting the disparity of access due to systemic racism.

Children still remain in cages, ripped from the loving arms of their immigrant parents, as we conveniently forget that we are a nation of immigrants.

Neither political party yet trusts a woman to lead the ticket, 100 years after the passage of the 19th Amendment. Instead, women’s reproductive rights are being whittled away, at the same time that the Department of Education is eliminating protections for female students against rape.

The number of transgender people who have been murdered in 2020 already exceeds the total for last year.  At the same time, of the 2 million youth who experience homelessness each year, 40% are LGBTQ; those numbers are expected to rise (along with domestic violence) as a result of COVID.

Seventy-five years after The Holocaust, we are seeing a drastic increase in anti-Semitism and hate crimes against individuals and synagogues.  Muslim people continue to be banned from entry to this country, even for life-saving operations.

Yesterday a Category 4 hurricane slammed into Louisiana, that reiterated the increased frequency and intensity of natural disasters during the climate crisis.  These clarion events are the fulcrum between those who believe that climate change is a hoax and those who believe that we are at the make or break point to forestall the destruction of the world.

While we all bemoan these myriad concurrent stressors in our society, what has not been discussed much is the inter-relation between them all. 

At the root of the racism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, anti-Semitism, islamophobia and the planetary degradation rife at this moment is religious wounding.

How was it, that after all of the enlightenment of the civil rights movement, the women’s movement, the gay rights movement, the ecumenical strides that have been made in the last 50 years, that there are still so many people who live in fear of a judging, triumphal god?  How is it that police officers shoot unarmed black kids while professing fear for their own lives?  How is it that we maniacally rape the planet, knowing that we are sealing our own doom? When did we lose sight of growing our beloved community and common humanity and instead revert to a tribalism of racism, fear and greed?

Religious trauma, I believe, is integral to all of these.  Of course, trauma in general, as Peter Levine states, “Is a fact of life and of nature itself.”  But why is it that our human brains and hearts compel us in a way different from all other species, to turn that trauma onto ourselves, each other and the planet, all in the name of the loving Source which created it all and called it all good?  How did we lose our way back to Eden?

The short and over-simplified answer is that while, for most of these traumas, we can trace them back to primal fear within our primitive brains, in 1492 these fears were given a focus that led to one of the deepest religious wounds still causing harm over 500 years later, effecting how we relate to each other and the world we share.  While persecution didn’t originate with it, the Spanish Inquisition supercharged the demonizing and ‘othering’ of Semitic (Muslim & Jewish) peoples, and then exported and globalized that system of oppression, in the form of colonization, raping the African and American lands and killing or enslaving indigenous peoples.  That same reign of terror, also burned women healers and wisdom keepers, labelling them witches, professing all women to be inheritors of the temptress Eve.  It justified the pillaging of earth’s resources as a God-given right of ‘dominion over the earth,’ denying the original instruction to, instead, be guardians of the earth and protectors of its resources. Indeed, anything ‘earthy’: wilderness, women’s blood, darker skinned peoples, were viewed as evil and only light white European males were worthy of the Old White Guy in the Sky.  Rigid rules of behavior for men, women and those beyond the gender binary dictated how we must behave and which emotions we were allowed to express.  It established the hegemony which has reinforced the toxic system of power that exists to this day, but it did so (and still does), by playing on those primal fears.

While the dominant Christo-colonizer culture has a lot to answer for, it is not the only religious tradition to cause wounding.  Wherever we have forfeited our connection with the vibrant flow of the Breath of All Life, to replace it with dogmas based in human fear, we have caused wounding.  We have not resolved the fear that lives in our primitive ‘lizard’ brain.  No amount of philosophizing and proselytizing, has cured us of our knee jerk reaction to anything or anyone that is ‘other’ than familiar.  ‘Other’ is dangerous, thus activating our flight/fight/freeze impulses. 

The problem with that, as with any form of trauma, is that once those impulses are turned on, we lose our ability to think logically; to even hear each other.  So, in this moment, we see governmental officials in freeze mode rather than devising solutions to Covid and Climate Change.  We see people finding their sense of security in carrying an assault weapon.  We see the ongoing killing of unarmed black men and trans women.  We see families of queer folk feeling forced to choose between their religion and their child, and so sacrifice that child to the judging god such a system relies on to keep feeding the fear.

Just as with domestic violence, the wounded can become the abusers.  Those who are most strident in today’s divisiveness are truly afraid; they’ve been groomed by a fearful religion, and then subjugated by the power system, told that their suffering is caused by those ‘others’ who are also subjugated.

‘Otherizing’, even when it is not directed at you can, makes one afraid to speak up, lest we lose what little privilege we feel. That old tribalism in our brain makes us long to be included in the ‘in-group’ to stay safe, so we get pulled into the us vs them tribal speak. The more we parrot what our leaders promote, the more affirming attention we receive from our group.  And so, divisiveness escalates as we align ourselves with those we feel we need for survival. 

Is it any wonder that so many people have opted out of religion all together, rather than be inflicted with such a toxic tribalism? We’ve thrown God out with the Holy Water, and in so doing have lost our sense of awe in the human spirit, including our own.

Neither talk therapy nor political debate alone can heal trauma, nor can the “opiate of the masses,” (religion); when it goes no farther than professing that which convinces us that we are right and good, and “they” are bad and evil.  It is in the doing, that healing comes.  Like Abraham or Buddha or Jesus or Muhammed, it is in offering compassion and kindness to one another, that we are able to heal.  It is in sharing a meal, building a home, sewing face masks, and singing songs from balconies, that we make community; regardless of what genders, orientations or colors, the mix of that community holds.

Contrary to the rhetoric of the moment, we do not live in two different universes.  We must begin to listen compassionately to what is at the heart of our neighbor’s or relative’s fear. Now, more than ever, we are being called to look at the ways we not only experience trauma ourselves, but also how we have unintentionally triggered those around us.  We have to own our complicit action and inaction for the systems of oppression and trauma which continue to cause harm.  We especially need to examine how we have used scriptures and dogmas which perpetuate the fear of a wrathful god, instead of embracing the compassion and healing of a loving God.

How do we begin to heal such wounding and divisiveness?  We begin by cultivating compassion.  Our ‘better angels’ have always called us to uplift those devastated by natural disasters, and provide comfort and sanctuary to widows, orphans and strangers.  We must cultivate compassion for ourselves and we must cultivate compassion for those we have turned into enemies.  We must cultivate compassion in our relationship with that which we call Holy, whatever that means for each of us.

Join me on September 13th for a free intro session to learn more about religious wounding.  Then join me in October for a 4-week workshop, where we will look more deeply at the origins of religious wounding, and how it manifests for different people.  We will then explore ways to heal our individual religious wounds, and build a resiliency which will allow our individual Spirits to reconnect with our sense of Awe and Hope.

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Praying for Healing & Compassion

I spent the better part of the last 35 years advocating for social justice. I’ve participated in more marches and rallies than I can count. But I’m having to sit out this current call to action. It is not that I feel any less passionate about the fact that Black Lives do indeed Matter, or that the sin of racism has infected our society for far too long. Between mobility issues and having multiple health challenges that put me at high risk for COVID, I have to recognize that I need to find a new way to help bend the arc of justice.

My passion for social justice has always come from the spiritual and religious teachings which have inspired my life. As Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel said, when marching with Martin Luther King, “I was praying with my feet.” What do you do when you can no longer pray with your feet? When you cannot, like Isaiah or Jesus or Muhammed, protect the oppressed with your own body?

We can engage in a quieter, even silent, activism. Prayer has fallen out of fashion, and has become associated (for many) with traditions which have become stale and lifeless. But quantum physics as well as research in some of the preeminent medical schools have shown that our thoughts and words have power. The setting of an intention, the voicing of affirmation, we often use different words but they all come back to prayer. What is a prayer, other than voicing our hopes and concerns to the ineffable Source of Being? And how much more powerful, when our collective intentions are amplified?

I’d like to invite you to join me in a particular form of prayer, with a new twist. A novena is a prayer form that originated in the Catholic church, which sets the intention to pray every day for 9 days, dedicated to a singular intention. Starting on this Thursday, June 11 and continuing until Saturday night, June 20th, let us set the intention of healing and compassion. Healing of oppression and racism. Healing of bodies, from COVID. Healing of our society, infected with divisiveness. Compassion for those who have not known they were participating in systemic racism. Compassion for those who are suffering financially in this time of disruption. Compassion for all who have lost loved ones to the violence and disease which afflict our communities at this time. Compassion for ourselves, that we are all trying to become our best selves.

Saturday the 20th is the new moon and Summer Solstice. The new moon is dark; a luminous darkness which portends new beginnings. Carrying this prayer, this intention, into the time of new beginnings, is itself a special kind of hope. We have yet to know what our “new normal” will be. We are seeing glimpses of it, in the awakenings of white neighbors and the dismantling of systemic racism. But there is much yet to learn, do and heal. We are birthing a new way of being, with one another and with ourselves, in the aftermath of COVID. There are still wisdoms we can draw on from the old ways, but we are invited to breathe new life into them, as well as devise new ways of connecting with All that Is.

If you are ready to envision a hopeful future, you can go to our Inclusive Prayer page and choose any of the selections there, or simply speak the words of your heart. If you still take comfort in older forms, use the prayers which bring you comfort. Or if the healing light of Reiki, or other silent meditations inspire you, that too is a prayer. Set a time each day when you will infuse your prayers with healing and compassion. Pray each day from June 11th – 20th. I invite you to share your reflections on the Shelter For The Spirit Facebook page. And if you would like to share in a sense of completion for this journey, join me on Zoom, Saturday June 20th at 2:30 pm PDT (solstice), for an Interfaith Virtual Labyrinth Walk. (Watch for details on registering, to follow, on our Events page and our Facebook page.)

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A Moment of Insanity

There was a tale told by Rebbe Nachman of Bratzlav, (as translated by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan): “The king’s star gazer saw that the grain harvested that year was tainted. Anyone who would eat from it would become insane. “What can we do?” said the king. “It is not possible to destroy the crop for we do not have enough grain stored to feed the entire population.”

“Perhaps,” said the star gazer, “we should set aside enough grain for ourselves. At least that way we could maintain our sanity.” The king replied, “If we do that, we’ll be considered crazy. If everyone behaves one way and we behave differently, we’ll be considered the not normal ones.

“Rather,” said the king, “I suggest that we too eat from the crop, like everyone else. However, to remind ourselves that we are not normal, we will make a mark on our foreheads. Even if we are insane, whenever we look at each other, we will remember that we are insane!”

Right now, it seems we have all gone insane. One part of the country is storming state governments with their AK-47’s strapped on their backs, because our medical and science authorities are calling for continued social distancing. While the other part of the country has reached its collective limits, that yet another black man was senselessly murdered; burning down police precincts.

Lost in all of that despair, are now more 100,000 American souls, dead from Covid. The number is too huge for us to contend with. If we held a moment of silence for each grandmother, friend, or child who has perished to Covid 19 we would be standing in uninterrupted silence for 70 days. How much more so, the unaddressed losses: hundreds of thousands of black bodies over the last 400 years; millions of Native American bodies; 700,000 bodies have died from HIV and AIDS since the beginning of that pandemic.

But we are not taking the time to mourn our dead. There have been no community wide rituals to reflect on our losses. With more than 40 million on unemployment, there is, neither, a way to metabolize the fear and angst which is as much a pandemic as the virus.

Like the king and his astrologer, how do we join in the madness of this moment, while still remembering that it is all so crazy? We need to acknowledge that, yes, we are all crazy. We are all operating from our primal tribal instincts instead of from our logic and compassion for the “strangers” in our midst. When life is no longer, can no longer be, normal can the insanity give us a new perspective? We are hearing from those most accustomed to living in trauma, that normal, never really worked for a great many people. And even those who are clamoring the most to get back to “normal” seem to be operating from a reality that is based in fear and desperation, not from the largesse we would expect if we ever were truly “GREAT”.

The craziest thing, is that like the old bad joke, we keep doing the same old things and expecting a different outcome. If it hurts stop doing it! Stop buying in to the myth of divisiveness and bigotry. Stop believing in an “American Dream” which always only worked for a few, and left the rest with crumbs. Stop reacting in fear to anyone who looks or believes differently from you. Anyone who has overcome an addiction or a bad habit knows that the longer you ignore the problem the bigger it gets; we have to stop our addiction to Othering.

Our bodies, and our planet, have a wisdom we need right now. The increase in storms didn’t get our attention; the virus only got our attention for a moment; now the fever of violence has us turning on each other, neighbor against neighbor. And still, do we not hear the weeping of Mother Earth, or the words of the sages, or the commandments given by the Divine – to love one another, to care for those less fortunate, to be stewards for nature lest it wither and disappear. We were each created from the same energy and stardust; each made in the likeness of divinity.

What if we all did something truly crazy? What if we stopped fearing one another, stopped hating one another, stopped allowing ourselves to be used as pawns in a political game? What if we beat our swords (or rifles) into plowshares, for peace within our communities? What if, instead of burying our feelings of grief and worry, we planted a tree for every life lost; renewing the lungs of our planet as a living memorial to those we love? What if, instead of being enslaved to Wall Street, we plant gardens which feed our creative souls and grow a more equitable economy? What if, instead of placing children in cages, we open the doors of our homes and communities to a shared vision of hope.

It might be crazy, but since hatred and fear are not working so well for us, can we try love?

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Our Journey into Holiness

We are all on a journey, this holy week.  In addition to the Christian Easter observances of Palm Sunday and Easter (Jesus’s journey into Jerusalem & from death into resurrection), last Friday marked Muhammed’s journey (in one miraculous night) from Mecca to Jerusalem, and on to an audience with God, in the highest heaven.  Wednesday marks not just the journey of the Jews from Egypt into their birth as a people, but it also marks the births of Buddha as well as Hanuman (the Hindu monkey god & avatar of Shiva).

This year, these journeys are held in counterpoint to the journey of COVID-19 through the communities of the whole world, leaving death of thousands due to the pandemic.  But it also invites us to an inward journey, to look with new eyes and hearts to what we are being birthed into.  At its heart, the Passover tale is not merely about liberation from that which enslaves us, but also manifests a birth into a new way of being in the world. 

Buddha, Jesus, Moses, Muhammed, Hanuman…. They each provide us with gifts to sustain us in this moment of global heartache, and to begin to envision the possibilities this moment can offer us, if we will but envision the world we want to enter when we leave our sheltered homes.

Buddha was raised in wealth and privilege.  But his journey awoke him to the suffering around him.  It also taught him, that the fears and angst we cling to are merely illusion.

Jesus was raised to honor Torah’s precepts, which demanded justice for the stranger, the widow and the orphan.  His journey broke open his heart, to have compassion for each person, as a child of God.

Moses, forsook life in the palace of Pharaoh, because of the cruelty of his slave drivers.  His journey, led him to speak truth to power and liberate his people from enslavement and hopelessness.

Muhammed rose from the life of an illiterate orphan to bring unity to the scattered Arabic peoples, uniting them with the other Peoples of the Book, through devotion, prayer and compassion.

Hanuman, born (through the capriciousness of the gods) with the face of a monkey, was known for selfless service to Lord Rama.  His journey led him to remember the powers and gifts he had forgotten; to leap into possibility.

In this week, of rising anguish and death, may we remember our gifts. May we see through the illusions caused by fear.  May we become the face of compassion.  May we be of service to all those in need. May we be reminded that when we are united in our common humanity, we can overcome any challenge.  May we take the leaps of faith which will open the doors of hope to the kind of world we all wish to live in.

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Reclaiming a Balanced Life

As I’ve continued to sit with and listen for the Voice of Creation, I am seeing that we have replaced the addiction of busy-ness in the outside world with a busy-ness in the digital world. This is not reducing the fever of fear, I think, but rather amplifying it. Like homeopathy, small doses can be useful, but overdosing becomes toxic. In our house we have decided to limit our digital engagement and instead, ground in home, hearth and spirit.

As I’ve sat in meditation the last couple of days, I am noticing that instead of constant screen time, spirit is calling for me to reclaim a balanced life. Instead of fear and frenzy, we need time each day to:

  • Be in prayer & mediation
  • Express Gratitude
  • Move our bodies (exercise, garden, dance, etc.)
  • Move us forward (work, learn, tackle home projects)
  • Be creative (draw, make music, write, craft)
  • Play (read, play a game, daydream)
  • Eat healthy food
  • Connect with loved ones
  • Rest
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Prayer in A Time of COVID & Climate Change

Source of Creation, known by many names and no name,

Be with us in this time of fear and crisis.  Be present to us through the interconnectedness of all life, even when that means our human species must refrain from physical connection with one another. Some of your children will not survive this pandemic.  We grieve for those who have already lost their lives, and continue to hold hope for the many yet to be touched by this virus.  Though we each must face the unknown within the solitude of our own homes, let us know how blessed we are, if we do have homes, sustained by our closest loved ones.  Be with those who are not so blessed, that they may find shelter and support.

Help us to recognize that the fevers within our bodies and the struggle for breath in our lungs, mirrors that of the cradle of our existence, Mother Earth.  We have long distanced ourselves from her, abused her, polluted her, robbed her of her life-sustaining waters, trees and pollinators.

Forgive our arrogance, to believe that we were separate from the rest of creation; our delusion that we were superior to other species and other peoples. Forgive our self-isolating from the realities of those who live without homes or hope. Forgive our selfishness and greed, which blinded us to the suffering our way of life has caused for planet and peoples.  We have become lonely, oblivious people, even as we’ve been surrounded by the busy-ness of society’s media.

Now, Holy One, we are instructed to isolate further, so as to halt the spread of this dis-ease.  May we take this time set apart to re-member, to remember that the want and hunger we feel is not for things but for true connection and intimacy. To remember that we are each but one strand in the fabric of our world, but that together we are The Web of Life.

Heal our bodies.  Heal our minds.  And Heal our souls. Breathe into us hope, compassion and resiliency.  Bless us, as we pass through this valley, to do so with our eyes opened (maybe for the first time) to our responsibility to one another and to Mother Earth.  Let this crucible refine us, and give us the fortitude we will need to heal our planet, so that all may be Eden once again.

Amen.

Rev. Theresa “Rivka” Gevurtz
March 16, 2020

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A Jewish Reverend? Interfaith Minister? A Seeker’s Multifaith Journey

For some of us, wrestling with faith has left us battered and bruised.  Some walk away disillusioned, and search for meaning in other ways.  For others we are called, like Abraham and Sarah, to a place we’ve never been before.  My own journey led me from a Catholic childhood, to finding acceptance in the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches, to conversion to a Judaism which welcomes my LGBTQ family and inspires my social justice commitments.  I learned along the way that there are many pathways to the Divine. And unlike the childhood Sunday School understanding, a mature and mystical understanding of the Ineffable Source of Being cannot be limited to a static image of “The Old White Guy in the Sky.”

So why Jewish (and a Reverend)?  I chose Judaism for my personal faith for many reasons beyond the fact that my beloved was Jewish.  The spiritual technologies of Judaism are not only filled with ancient wisdom, they continue to provide relevance for me today.  I and my beloved found acceptance first as a lesbian couple and then later, my beloved was blessed on his journey as a trans man, within our congregation.  It inspires and informs my commitment to caring for creation. Judaism has taught me gratitude and mindfulness through its many expressions of Blessing.  And its system of honoring grief is grounded in the truth of the ways grief continues to shape our reality long after our dead are buried.

But unlike many people who choose a new faith, I wasn’t leaving behind that which didn’t feed my soul, so much as I was welcomed into the Jewish tradition of wrestling with the divine and co-creating covenant.  I continue to find gifts in the traditions of my youth.  The beauty and empowerment of Mary, as she accepted her role in birthing and guiding Jesus into his ministry.  The unconditional love and humility which instructed The Teacher to call out, “Abba”, Father.   The shared wisdom within the Elder and Younger Testaments that we have a Divinely-inspired duty to protect the widow & orphan, uplift the refugee, and steward the planet. 

And like many, I feel challenged by calcified constructs which are human foibles. Each of our world religions have nurtured countless souls; and each has inflicted deep wounds.  What I’ve learned is that any tradition can cause wounding when it clings too dearly to dogma.  One of the many names of that which we call Holy, is Breath of Life, and like our breath It must be free to move, inspire awe and fill us with creative sparks.

So why (Jewish) Reverend?  I used to joke that the Divine chased me through 3 traditions.  Time and again I felt called to serve Source.  When I finally accepted that call, and was in turn accepted into seminary, I realized that I needed to bring my full journey of soul-seeking with me.  Wiser teachers than I, in many of our world traditions, have recognized this as a time of paradigm shift. We are all being called to a place we have never been before.

Churches and synagogues alike have seen their memberships fall, as the numbers of those who identify as Spiritual But Not Religious has grown.  Many of us still feel nourished by the ancient wisdoms. It is not that SBNR folk reject a sense of Awe; but instead recognize that their journeys don’t fit in a singular box created for a different time and reality. 

In an age of global strife and climate catastrophe, we must each search within for how and who we want to Be, as the world shifts around us.  Each of us are on a singular journey, but like the “100th Monkey,” as we grow our compassion for self and open our hearts to the wisdoms found in the journeys of others; we can shift our collective and individual reality to become partners with the Divine, inspiring our lives and, with hope, healing our planet.

I invite you to join me on this Multifaith (and for some post-faith) Journey of seeking the wisdom within our own souls, the wisdom we can gain from one another, and yes, wisdom from the ancient ancestors as well.  I am a practicing Jew who is also an ordained Interfaith Minister, Spiritual Director and Chaplain. 

In January, I will be launching my private spiritual practice, Shelter For The Spirit.  It is not a church nor a synagogue. It is companionship using a variety of spiritual technologies. It is meaning-making and ritual weaving that calls forth a post-modern and (Godwilling) post-colonial, & post-capitalist world.  It is a ministry which draws on the wisdom of many traditions as well as the wisdom within your own truth. It is witnessing the face of the Divine in each individual, in all of their multiplicities.

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Pastoral Care for Trans and Gender Nonconforming Youth

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Called into Being

As I had said to my beloved (years ago,) there were two callings in my life, that informed my very being; ministry and mothering (which is as much a part of my gender identity as being femme).  It was because of this calling that I was able to recognize the calling into being of my husband’s gender actualization.  

At 5 years old my beloved announced to his family that “she” wanted to be called Tom Cowboy.  His parents freaked out in 1964, and kept him in dresses and emphasized his petite stature, so that the wishes of that boy child were subsumed (but never completely obliterated).  

30 years later, living as an out lesbian, the call began whispering again, and even as he shared this still small voice with me, he would push it down with “if only it were a different world, I would….”  Like the callings of Jonah and of Muhammed, at some point the whisper becomes a clarion that could not be outrun.  As it became harder to ignore he, like Moshe Rabbeinu (Moses), would say “why me”?  

As he approached his fiftieth birthday, he came to realize that he did not want to spend his elder years denying a call into the fullness of his being, and stepped into his Hineni (“Here I am”).  He came to realize that the years of struggling with anxiety disorder and depression were manifestations of the truth of his calling, screaming to be free. By answering that call, the blessing would be to honor that, having lived 50 years as a woman, made him the kind of man he wanted to embody for the rest of his life.

[excerpted from a paper in my Pastoral Care for Trans Communities class, and part of my upcoming book.]

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Rev. Gevurtz’s Ordination Sermon

Aish tamid tukad al hamizbayach; lo tichbeh (sung)

I think there is a beautiful synergy for us to arrive at this moment of ordination, on this particular weekend, at the start of a week which is holy to so many.  Today is Shabbat HaGadol, The Great Sabbath before Passover and tomorrow is Palm Sunday.  On this day Jews read of the installation of Aaron, as the High Priest of the Israelites. And tomorrow, Christians remember the jubilant arrival of the rabbi Yehoshuah into the Holy City. What does it mean for me, as I am ordained today, to be instructed as Aaron was:

אֵ֗שׁ תָּמִ֛יד תּוּקַ֥ד עַל־הַמִּזְבֵּ֖חַ לֹ֥א תִכְבֶּֽה 
A continuous fire shall burn upon the altar; it shall not go out

What is the fire which I need to keep burning, as I step into my Calling? What is the flame that I commit to carrying into this next phase of life’s journey?

I received an important lesson during the AIDS epidemic – when my friend Tim said “Don’t treat me like I am dying from AIDS – I am living WITH it! You could be hit by a truck leaving this apartment.  I just know I am going to die; but in the meantime, I am LIVING.”  I learned about the fire which is the passion for life, from Tim and others, whose flames burned too short a time – and I commit to tending that flame in all those I serve; may we cherish each moment we are given.

One spark of my fire, (that I almost let burn out), was my creative spirit.  Just as arthritis and fibromyalgia have limited my body, I allowed the workaday world to limit my spirit; and over time I allowed many of my passions –  acting, singing, crafting – to be extinguished.  My time here at ChI, in Arts for Awakening particularly, has breathed new life into the fire that once flowed through my creative spirit.  I commit to kindle that spark of creativity, that it might inspire me and others, as we co-create the world we want.

And finally, in journeying through life with a trans husband and gender fluid child, I have learned that none of us are either/or but Both/AND; our flames dance in multiple hues.  The divine light and luminous dark of holy fire, that which we name Wonder and Awe, calls us to be our truest selves.  But it also calls us to witness the pain and brokenness within many who our lives touch.  I commit to shining my light on the ways our society is missing the mark; and to nurture the luminous dark, which calls each of us to embrace our deepest and highest selves.

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